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lilmisscheekbones:

keepyoureyesfixedonme:

Remember when Martin and Ben were like really awkward and uncomfortable-looking at the Emmy’s a couple years ago, and they were like “omg we have to stay together, we only know each other”

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and now Ben’s at the Oscars alone and he’s just on fucking crack.

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I bet his parents are watching and telling each this is not what they raised.

Meanwhile Martin is laughing his ass off phone in hand because he just dared Ben to do it via text message

swsholmes:

John, your fangirl is showing

blamemisha:

frostingpeetaswounds:

the fact that ellen doesn’t have to insult celebrities to be funny makes her 500% more amazing then she already is

instead she takes photos with them and buys them pizza

superblys:

  • lupita won an oscar
  • ellen is hosting a giant pizza party
  • kristen belle brought a burrito to the oscars
  • brad pitt is handing out paper plates
  • arby’s bought pharrell’s hat on ebay
  • everything is beautiful

burdschool:

distimiya:

don’t let tumblr make you believe that

-smoking is cool

-being a narcissistic bitch is acceptable

-trusting nobody is healthy

-starving yourself will make you beautiful

-hating everybody is okay

or that

- being mentally sick makes you more interesting

- hating yourself is cool

- belonging to a majority makes you a bad person

- you are not allowed to feel bad about your body

- you have to accept everyone despite their toxic views

pajamaben:

"Billy where is your homework?"

"im sorry Ms. Klein my dog- *sees dog in the window make a throat cutting motion* -gone cat ate it”

ethelreds:

nothing is impossible when the pirates of the caribbean theme plays in the background 

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